Yet again, arguing with myself. My head is always try to keep my emotions in check. But rational shouldn't try to control emotions... that's ridiculous and completely impossible. Still, I try anyway. Also, I need to not have ANY kind expectations after I say no to something. I shouldn't be pissed, but I am anyway.
But back on the actual topic at hand. I really hate that time when you're laying in bed, looking back on the day and thinking about all the stupid things you've said. I feel like I'm constatly being a selfish douche. I hate it. Whenever I'm having conversations, the first thought in my head is, 'How does this affect me,' or 'How can I relate?' No one cares except me, and even I don't care that much... but I still do it. I get so frustrated with myself. Everything has to be about me, and I don't want it to be like that. No on fucking wants to hear shit like that. No one likes people like that. And really, I'd much rather know about what everyone else is doing.
But then I know I'm just being too hard on myself, which I also have to take into account. But it's hard to take a different perspective. Im usually so good at looking at things from several different angles, but never when it concerns me. And here I am, whining about me some more. But whatever, that's what blogs are for. I need to stop ragging on myself. If I made resolutions, that would probably be it.
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What she said.
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